Dates

6th - 24th April ---> UK (15th-20th Oxford, 20th-22nd Wales)
5th - 19th May ---> Japan
23rd May - 2nd June ---> skit!

Three days of being wound tight

Last weekend I was made angry. And it lasted for quite a few days. Every interaction I had was somewhat coloured by this anger. It began with a thread being pulled. A really light-hearted and inoffensive thread.

First I will cut and paste my emails with skit.

skit:

Has Willem responded to your ezmail, by the way? He's starting to
annoy me even more in the thread. Grr.

Me:

Ah, even though I had read this before, reading it again brought a firey hot coal to my stomach.

I have a Word document titled "hatemail" (.rtf) which has two further ezmails as they were too long to read properly in the small ezmail box.

So I sent an ezmail. Willem replied. I replied. Willem replied. I replied. Willem replied. I am not replying.

He is very sure of himself. I will give him that.

I have been so wound up by him lately. So very wound up. To summarise:
He does not agree that he should notify people when they have a thread yanked (or give them the chance to change whatever causes the problem).
He found our reactions to a thread going missing as amusing in the sense that he enjoyed the confusion.
He does not agree to explain the rules. (I asked him to before Sophie did).

I think that is everything of note...

I just hate the way he went "no" to my requests. Which were simple! My requests were that he would not delete whole threads based on one small thing, that he would notify people when "rules" were breached and that he would clarify what the "rules" were.

I also accused him of breaking the "have a sense of humour" rule but didn't press that one. I also didn't press the matter of what he considered to be an insult. It is of course something I don't understand but as I have said with the whole God/bob thing, I make concessions even if I don't get it.

Anyway. I thought I'd blog this as I can't post about it on the Board and it does bug me. I see his behaviour as a strangely empowered case of trolling. He adds nothing to our community and came in and destroyed a little part of it. He got amusement from this (he did admit this- I want to make it clear that part of what annoys me is that he seems to get off on the power trip).

Yeah, I am incredibly worked up. And he wouldn't listen to me in the slightest. I was getting to the point where I was willing to do anything, screw the consequences. But his final email was not even a reply to mine. He just said that I was illogical and not to email him again. And also made some reference to a long term problem with him which is ludicrous.  So, I have not replied because he asked me not to. And it is so hopeless. And anyway- he is right in one thing. He doesn't get off on the power trip often enough for it to be a problem.

I ask myself why I care so much.

I know why.

It is because of my ego that calls the Board mine when I have no right to do so.

Mine in a communal way. Ours. But "mine" sounds more fiercely protective. "Mine" like... pika was mine. Or maybe my family is mine. My friends are mine. My school is mine.




skit

Yes, my general reaction to all of that is a heartfelt grr.

I think…I understand him. And to some extent I see why he thinks he
has a right to behave exactly as he does. He did set the board up
originally and probably feels to some extent responsible for our
behaviour on it. Responsible in the sense of an adult restraining a
lot of exuberant children. Responsible like the teacher on the train
who got more worked up by the radio 2 jingle than by the constant
swearing. He looks on himself as the arbiter of our good behaviour,
restraining our excesses when he knows better than us.

And there's the reason _I'm_ annoyed. But I can, and do, see why he
behaves like that. I don't think he's going to listen to our
grievances with that behaviour, because that's exactly the point – the
initial assumption is that he is the adult, with experience, who knows
better how we should behave. He will continue to do that no matter how
much we resent it, because it's how he sees us. We appear silly
children, stamping our feet, rather than equal members of a community.
And yes, that's wrong. I agree we let him by signing onto his board in
the first place, but I don't like it.

> I also accused him of breaking the "have a sense of humour" rule but didn't
> press that one. I also didn't press the matter of what he considered to be
> an insult. It is of course something I don't understand but as I have said
> with the whole God/bob thing, I make concessions even if I don't get it.

I don't even think it's that things insult him. He never seems
particularly insulted. I think he thinks it's just unsociable
behaviour and he's going to keep it in check. It's more what he thinks
may offend other people than anything personal on his behalf. That
almost annoys me more.

> Anyway. I thought I'd blog this as I can't post about it on the Board and it
> does bug me.

If you want to vent, by all means blog it. But I think it's getting to
the time where we need a board discussion about what to do (as yuku is
coming…(the goose is getting fat?)). I think the best idea might be to
set up on our own entirely…and we don't even need to make it obvious
that we don't like his control, because it's perfectly rational that
the responsibility of moderating the board should belong to those
people who get the most out of the board and are most likely to be
around when things need moderating. Because I worry that we risk
losing people. I am sure, despite his politeness, Snail is feeling
pretty nonplussed and a bit annoyed right now, and the fact that none
of the oldies have seemed nonplussed with him (because we know Willem
of old) is probably making him feel even weirder about the board as a
whole. Same goes for other newbies, and for lurkers – would you want
to join a board if you saw this going on?

So yeah, I think it's time for the debate, even leaving out personal
anger. But putting it on your blog might make other people think a bit
harder about it too, which would be a good thing (at the moment I am
channelling jes I think and fearing an avalanche of 'nicely nicely'
style posting which would argue stay with the board and yuku so as not
to lose or offend anyone at all).



(Now)

So, essentially this blog post is like a mass email to Hobblings because what I said to skit, the comments I invited, is for all Hobblings. You can stop reading here. Or continue to see the original ezmails.

By the way, when I think of Willem I think of the incident in the chatroom. Does anyone else remember it? In those days it was not run by ezboard and so we could choose whatever name we wanted. Willem decided to go in and pretend to be someone who had been recently trolling (arguably) the Board. I have never worked out why that is funny.





Me (written when on owl shift at 3am)

You need to accept that this is a polite and civil board, Willem. That we respect each other. That even long-term Board members respect relatively new Board members, especially those that contribute as much intelligent thought as Snail. And yanking his thread because you don't get the joke does not show him the respect he deserves. I know that you are the terrible ezop and have never claimed to have anything but a tyrannical rule but you are enforcing rules without explaining what they are first and I don't like that. Just say it: no mention of God, hell, the devil, demons, spirits... Then at least we can comply without mistakenly believing this to be a Board of good humour.


And the reply:

Keppet
you seem to be a bit pissed off? you also seem to assume things without asking. including what i disapprove of or no.

I did get his joke but did not like it.
respect: you seem to have a different definition then I.
Snail said something which I find not in agreement with the rules under announcement. And moreover I dislike on certain grounds which I feel are in line with the already mentioned rules..

your statement that there has not been an explanation is completely incorrect.
so there is nothing to "not like"
if you go to look under announcements you will find the rules.
It gets even better when talking about humor: i find it very funny what happened. don't take removing a post too seriously.
It might be I have a somewhat different humor then most people.

regards
Willem
PS I dont see the point of your opening sentence: i dont need to do anything which I already do,
the fact that ripping away a post happens very seldomly tells me enough..


Me (I forget when I wrote this... towards the end of the Owl shift?)

Nowhere in the rules does it say anything about not using the existance of God in a humorous way. I think you need to either clarify the rules or find a new way of dealing with them. Obviously clarifying the rules is the harder of the two.

Dealing with the rules obviously depends on how great the infringement. When a post is obviously inflammatory, no one would cry out if it was pulled. However in this case no one apart from you (in a strange case of not getting the joke- the thread was about a Tin Tin film!) took offence and the reaction was overblown. It was disrespectful to Snail who is a fantastic addition to the Board. It said that his opinion was not worthy of a thread. What could have been done had you found it within yourself to spend more than a second hitting the delete key, would be to post and say that you didn't like the joke and would prefer it if the joke didn't appear again. What is the point of pulling the thread once you have seen it and taken offence? Petty revenge it feels like to me. After all, the insult to your sensibilities has already occured and deleting the thread will not erase that. In my opinion, a mere comment of how you wish people to behave is what was necessary. Then people can change their behaviour out of respect to you which they would on this Board. If Snail had not raised the issue, would you even have had the chance to explain what your boundaries were? How would anyone know how not to offend you in the future? It was utterly unproductive until Snail asked why.

The middle path to dealing with this between yanking the thread and posting your opinion would have been to edit the thread title. A small thing that says that Snail is allowed to talk about the Tin Tin film, is allowed to voice his opinion. Just as long as he frames it correctly. This would have been an odd thing to do for reasons I stated above (that the offence had already been dealt to you so why try to turn the clocks back) but at least one that was respectful of Snail's right to discuss a film.

>you seem to be a bit pissed off?

Yes. This Board means a lot to me. Suddenly having a thread yanked without explanation is like a thief coming into my home. Okay, maybe my landlord coming into my home and taking something. It does cause offence. It says that this is not a community. But it is. The Board is a community. And we can police ourselves if need be. We can set our own limits as a community. We are small enough that this works. And it means a lot to me that it works.

> you also seem to assume things without asking. including what i disapprove of or no.

Ah I see. You are a huge fan of the upcoming Tin Tin film and could not stand any criticism? No, I think I understood what it was you disapproved of.


>I did get his joke but did not like it.

There are many jokes on this Board that I do not like. I tell people and also post jokes that I do like. I believe that to be the best way to show people respect.

>respect: you seem to have a different definition then I.

How did your actions show Snail respect? Maybe you are right and you do have a definition that allows you to do such actions in a community.

>Snail said something which I find not in agreement with the rules under announcement.

As I said, perhaps you need to revise them then though that is not the simplest way to proceed.

>your statement that there has not been an explanation is completely incorrect.

I am sorry if you contacted Snail about the removal and I am jumping to conclusions (based on his bafflement) that you did not. If this was the case, you should say.

>It gets even better when talking about humor: i find it very funny what happened. don't take removing a post too seriously.

Well I do for reasons stated. Would you be willing to think over your stance on this bearing that in mind?

>It might be I have a somewhat different humor then most people.

That is true. I do not deny that you have one but if you find pulling a thread funny then I have to appeal to your sense of wisdom rather than humour.

>the fact that ripping away a post happens very seldomly tells me enough..

I don't see why it happened at all.

I don't mind if you don't reply. I hope that you just think about my suggestions and opinions and come to some place that shows a willingness to work with people rather than over them.

With much love for the community you created,
kepp.


Willem

Keppet
first: no need to get cynical against me.
I maintain a different standpoint
I cant appreciate people using Gods name in a disrespectfull way.

I could have contacted snail before hand but i choose not to do
- a short fuse maybe? I felt it an inappropriate title and i dont want to discuss that if I am short in time.
It is my interpretation of the rules.
if you look to the total number of posts etc and the number of times I removed a post without any warning (which is mentioned in the rules btw) i feel you overdo it.
you seem not to get what I said: i did not say i found it funny to pull the message but what happened thereafter.
pecooper seemed the only one who had a clue what really happened.
you can cry about a single incident like this but then i ask you: why did snail apologize? you cant tell me he did not mean it.

in conclusion: it is a matter of interpretation. can you try to agree to disagree ?

there is no need to tell me what i should have done or should change in the rules
I feel they are reasonable and worked well in all those years and 10thousands of posts.
.
regards
Willem


Me

>first: no need to get cynical against me.

In fact, I feel I was being optimistic. I thought that I could help you but I see my words have fallen on deaf ears. Why do you keep the rules a secret? Why, when Sophie asks for clarification, do you not come clean? Does it amuse you to have a set of rules no one knows about?

>I cant appreciate people using Gods name in a disrespectfull way.

Then say it! And also clarify that disrespectful includes humorous.

>I could have contacted snail before hand but i choose not to do
>- a short fuse maybe?

Do you admit then that that is what you should have done? Do you agree to a more gentlemanly way of acting in the future? I cannot tell from what you say.

> I felt it an inappropriate title and i dont want to discuss that if I am short in time.

And there I think we come back to disrespect. Snail is not worth your time, obviously. I feel that he should be. If you respected him, he would be. We all would be.

>It is my interpretation of the rules.

I do not argue that about your right to set the rules. I may argue what they are but I cannot put any power behind that, so what is the point? I argue the way you enforce them.

>pecooper seemed the only one who had a clue what really happened.

I knew. Possibly others did too but so few on the Board know who you are and think only Myo has that power so it is easy to see why most were confused.

So you found the confusion amusing? You don't think that the confusion is suggesting that your rules are not clear enough? we are back to this amusement you have in knowing rules others do not.

>you can cry about a single incident like this but then i ask you: why did snail apologize?

Because he is a good man who shows others respect.

Besides, is this the issue? No, the issue is the way the thread was pulled with no explanation. Not what Snail said.

>in conclusion: it is a matter of interpretation. can you try to agree to disagree ?

I feel like you have missed the point. The fact that I disagree that what he said was offensive is of no consequence. We can agree to disagree over that. However, apart from being short of time, you have not explained why you think it okay to not explain yourself. Why you think pulling a thread without due respect to the author is okay. Why you don't want to clarify what you find offensive.

kepp


Willem

Keppet
If you continue to misunderstanding what I say, and continue to say illogical things it is meaningless to debate with you
the one having no respect is you here because you keep saying things that are not truthfull.
You seem to have a grudge against me (from the past i guess)
I will end this discussion.
no need to answer anymore
w


Obviously I stopped ezmailing. It was making my life pretty hard and there was no point in continuing.

WonderCon 2007

My photos and I highly recommend looking at Narrisch's on her flickr photostream.



Getting to sleep that night was tough. I was buzzed from the events of the day (my previous blog post) and the plans for WonderCon. I had two nightmares where we missed seeing the Drive panel (the first because we forgot and the second because they changed venue on us). Still, I hopped out of bed with enthusiasm and scared Narrisch into thinking that I might actually be one of those freaks known as morning people.

The alarm didn't wake sleeping Narrisch but the whistle of my kettle did (after I let it screech for a minute) and we both had a cup of tea and strawberries (with cake also in my case) for breakfast. Yet again, I got my timing wrong and we missed the train but the bus was able to get us into the city which saved me from driving half asleep. The bus journey was pretty slow and long but fortunately gave Narrisch some experience of it before Monday and using it to get to the airport. We talked in depth about Battlestar Galactica, my lack of sleep making me forget names and slur my words.

Once in the city, our first port of call was Peet's as we both required coffee. Sitting in the cafe, Narrisch noticed someone she called "that guy from Just Shoot Me" and we also spent a good time comic-geek spotting as the city was full of hairy wanderers in black t-shirts. I spied a special Peet's Chai blend and thought of Rian.

I did slightly better in remembering where we had to go for the con than I did with the parade, aided admittedly by a large banner saying "Welcome to WonderCon" and the aforementioned stream of obvious geeks going to it. Every few steps on our final approach to the Moscone centre, a "man in black" demanded to know whether we had prepaid tickets or not so I started to simply carry the print-outs as if they were a shield and sure enough they kept their distance and we were able to queue-jump and get through the main doors, hot on the foot-steps of a storm-trooper. Once in, we had our tickets scanned and collected our passes. I wore mine with such pride.

I inspected the programme. We had not missed any events I cared about fortunately. There were a number of panels starting at 12 that I was interested in. I finally selected (with minimal consulting) a tv panel as opposed to a comics panel. The topic was the changing face of television based on the (frankly wrong) idea that scifi was having a revival (when was it not on the telly?). The panel included Jeph Loeb (Heroes, Lost, Smallville and every single comic book character worth writing) and a couple of people from the 4400 (Billy Campbell and Ira Behr) plus someone utterly random from Deep Space 9 (Chase Masterson). Plus of course, Richard Hatch. I thought that anyone that worked on Battlestar Galactica would be enjoyable to listen to, you cannot work in such a show and not have ideas about the issues, right? I utterly underestimated him though.

But back to events. For in this retelling I have only just decided to go to this panel. The decision made, we went off to the toilet and then found ourselves taking the most obscure route to the discussion location that we could, behind curtains and up stairs and down corridors. But we got there and despite being early for the show, a hefty queue had already formed. As we waited, a woman came around with a raffle to win an autograph session with Nathan Fillion. A guy a couple ahead of us drew a winning ticket. Alas, neither Narrisch nor I picked a winner but the guy right behind us did prompting Narrisch to sulk that he had her ticket.

While in the queue, we had a brief conversation with the girl in front (Farscape t-shirt) about where to get patches to cover the quite hideous National Geographic logo on Narrisch's bag (well, Narrisch didn't like it). We queued for longer than expected as they were not ready yet in the ballroom (which sat 3000 people, by the way) but eventually we were let in, being warned not to run by an official man who then we saw running.

Narrisch and I took some good seats near the centre and near the front. When they brought the panel out we applauded and Narrisch made some comments about Chase Masterson bursting out of her corset and the colour of Ira Behr's beard (purple).

The chairman (from TV Guide) started the ball rolling with the main question about the revival of scifi. Jeph Loeb and Richard Hatch waxed lyrical on the subject (Richard Hatch pretty much giving a speech that got an incredible round of applause). Both talked about the staying power of science fiction and its role in our culture over the decades, disagreeing with the blurb of the panel totally. Richard Hatch of course referenced his Apollo days and to be honest I felt a little baffled that he could compare Battlestar Galactica of old with the intelligent, political and insightful show I watch every week. But he sold himself completely proving that he was much more Zarek than Apollo. Jeph Loeb's contribution was much more what I expected and so a little stale (it's all about the characters really... and the cool guns) but at least it showed the sharp and hugely successful mind behind it.

Move onto the 4400 people... Billy Campbell, being an actor that didn't actually watch any television (apart from Rome, I believe) barely had a word to say. He had to share a microphone with Ira Behr (executive producer, if memory serves) and every time a question came up, whoever had the microphone would surreptitiously edge it towards the other. Ira Behr talked about how the network (USA) didn't see their show as scifi and from his comments it was obvious that he saw the 4400 as a commercial venture rather than a closer look at humanity. I recall many comments by him recapping the previous season, some comments about the future, but nothing of any note at all. Chase Masterson was the odd one on the panel having no show to talk about but had obviously been on the convention circuit enough to have pretty sounding speeches prepared.

So the panel was amusing due to the reluctance of Billy Campbell to speak, Ira Behr merely plugging his (now mythos-heavy) show and the potential of Chase Masterson to explode out of her bodice. It was also transfixing as Jeph Loeb displayed his savvy and Richard Hatch his passion. A few things that came out of it... Heroes is shot entirely in LA (just as Lost is entirely Hawaii) and plans to have a proper conclusion at the end of the season or rather "volume" as Tom Kring puts it. The second volume should have much of the same characters as the first plus some. Tom Kring, though the creator of something that feels like a comic book, does not read comic books. The entire writing staff works together on an episode of Heroes (I knew that Bryan Fuller of Wonderfalls fame wrote for Claire from an interview with him). I got the distinct impression that Jeph Loeb was a little jealous of the intellectual heights Battlestar Galactica aspires to and attains but he showed that he loved the working environment and focus at Heroes.

We had good seats in this panel but did not want to endure the next session (which was about Jericho) so we left, encountering outside a dapper Willy Wonka and an Alien eating poor unsuspecting con attendees. We had quarter of an hour to kill before the next panel we were interested (gender in genre) and so poked our noses into the exhibition hall. I was in absolute heaven. "Like a kid in a sweet shop" fails to capture the absolute bliss I felt in this massive hall filled with booth after booth of comics, books, art and toys. In fact it was overwhelming and I wondered if I would ever be able to find anything to buy without being distracted by so many shiny things I could not afford. Indeed, I saw an issue of Amazing Fantasy number 15 and nearly wept.

But I didn't. We went to gender and genre a little too late to get seats so we took a bit of floor by the side of the room. There were two people on the panel aside from the chairman: Jane Espenson and Pia Guerra. The questions given to them came from people online, mainly from whedonesque. I remember odd things like how Jane Espenson described a common cheer in writers' rooms in answer to "would it be racist/sexist to do this?" of "it would be racist/sexist not to". I remember the discussion on Battlestar Galactica women. Starbuck was both put forward as proof that we have gone beyond the point where gender matters as she is the most broken person in the fleet but no one sees that as a comment on "female weakness", and also as a criticism (from an online person) that people write strong females just by giving them a male character. This seemed to confuse the panel as the whole point was, in their eyes, that there was no such thing as a male character. But they acknowledged (using Gilmore Girls as a reference, dearie me) that if you wrote about a strong woman today you would probably have to give her typically female hobbies as that was still the culture she grew up in It was commented on that Athena was seen folding laundry and Jane Espenson declared "well, it was probably her turn" and followed up with "actors just like to do things which is why Giles ate so much". They joked about how Uhura on the Starship Enterprise was just a telephone operator and how all their role models were male.

Narrisch and I skipped out on this a bit early. There was getting to be a lot of repetition and it was clear that the panel speakers had an optimistic and boringly uncontroversial view of gender in genre. Personally I doubt that they should be so chipper. Outside of television, I don't see a great deal of female protagonists that are written half as well as the male ones, Joss Whedon and Brian Bendis being exceptional writers but a mere blip in comics history.

We went to the ballroom again which was still holding the Jericho panel. It overran so we had to sit through a tedious panel session on a show we did not care about and did not seem to have a great deal of experienced and interesting people running it. The token actor wore a baseball cap inside, an American habit I loathe and have seen creep across the pond. Grrr.

Eventually the Jericho panel drew to a close. I was much more interested watching the translation into sign language. Actually, it was interesting because apparently there is a deaf person on the show and he or she had attended a local school and classmates were in the audience.

But the room was filling for the Drive panel. Narrisch and I moved around a bit and cursed the people that left empty chairs guarded by a discarded jumper or bag so we could not take them. The place we ended up in was near the front but off to the side so we got a good view of the large television screen (not that that was a worry). At least we were on the correct side of the stage for seeing a sneak preview of Nathan Fillion. As they cleared the Jericho lot and set the stage for Drive, Mr Fillion was crouched on the ground with the stage curtain swept aside so that he could entertain a little girl. He didn't succeed in making her cry (as David Boreanaz did at the Angel con I went to) but not everyone has that gift.

The first person to be introduced onto the Drive stage was... unmemorable. But then came the “small actor” we “may have heard of”... and then the room went pretty wild with cheering. Mr Fillion came onto the stage (wearing slightly baggy jeans it must be noted) and basked in the love. Pretending humility, he gestured for us to tone it down and then shrugged as if to say "well, go on then" and gestured for more cheers. Then he quietened us again... and brought the cheers back. Oh and then a couple more people were brought on stage. I forget who.

No, I don't. One was his female co-star and the other the man behind the show, Ben Queen. I say man but as soon as he came on I cried out "he's twelve!" because he looked it. I am not old enough to be thinking that people in power look younger every day.

The panel began with a couple of uninspiring clips of the show, one I swear had Ivan Sergei in Mr Fillion's role and so must have been rather old. The clip that was a scene rather than a trailer showed a lot of Nathan Fillion acting... like Nathan Fillion. Indeed, later in the panel he was asked whether there was any Mal in his character and he admitted yes... which makes me wonder if he is capable of being anyone else. Not that who he is on screen matters as much as how enjoyable he is to watch (in the commercial tv world) but I would have liked to see some range.

The panel talked about the usual things: the birth of the project and its long journey to get to our screens this April, the genius of Tim Minear, the structure in terms of whether there is an end to the show (yes- they will complete the illegal cross-country race but of course there will be another race if they get another season and not necessarily only one per year). The questions from the floor were almost all aimed at the fan favourite Fillion except for one about their favourite cars (Mr Fillion wanted the Batmobile after a long rambling answer that went via futuristic concept cars) which was aimed at all the members. Oh, and one that asked whether it was a problem that the cast was split up all over the country despite it being revealed earlier in the panel that all locations were on LA sets or green-screened. Nathan Fillion stole the show even when he wasn't being asked anything by taking photographs of his co-star and also asking for some audience participation to demonstrate what Drive was all about. When he asked for volunteers, the tectonic plates moved from the effect of so many people leaping up.

I could say more but apart from the fun atmosphere created by Nathan Fillion and his Amazing Fans, the panel was just a lot of talk about a programme no one has seen. And one that isn't even scifi and would be of no interest at all to anyone in the room if not for whedonverse (well, minearverse) links.

So I won't say more.

Narrisch and I left very happy. It had been a good way to spend an hour just for the standup comedy routine that was Nathan Fillion. We leapt into the exhibition hall, myself a little bit too excited at the ocean of booths. We started at the autographs end of the hall and looked for Richard Hatch but he was nowhere to be found. Alas. I did see Ernie Hudson and I clasped Narrisch's arm. "It's Ernie Hudson!" "Er... who?" Ernie Hudson is pretty important to me being a central character in The Film That Spoke Most To Me: The Crow. He was the heart of the film and the strength of it. And then of course he was the warden in Oz, a series that I adore. Narrisch urged me to speak to him, to at least tell him how I valued his work. But surely he knows? And I do hate to state the obvious. So I withheld. I think had I said something, the words would resonate in my head to this day and I would be filled with shame at how they weren't worthy.

So, we passed the Browncoat Booth and some artists and snaked our way down the booths and across the hall. At some point the booths all became comics and memorabilia and other absolutely distracting and shiny things. I am in awe of Narrisch for keeping track of me. So many times we were walking down an aisle and something in a booth would catch my eye and I would be gone. I'd break the spell only to discover that minutes had passed and Narrisch was out of sight. And yet just as the panic edged into my mind, she'd appear as if I was causing no bother at all.

I bought the Eternals (a complete set of 7 issues plus a sketchbook issue for just $23 which perhaps is not a saving compared to the trade paperback but I was happy with it) and the first Fullmetal Alchemist book. I embarrassed myself then by saying to the booth guy that I had seen the cartoons. The cartoons?! Anime! I know that... so why did I say cartoons? Maybe I am wrong to paint anime fans as such snobs that they care what I say as the guy didn't seem too upset.

Narrisch bought a patch for her bag (it said Serenity) and I spent ages going through a box of badges. To top off the day, Narrisch took photos of people dressed up as Willy Wonka (the same one as before), Captain Sparrow, Mrs Incredible and the Alien with its head removed.

We took our purchases and left around 4:30 as it was closing. We hadn't had lunch so we skipped to a sandwich place. As I ate my sandwich (and stroked my comics) we talked about one question that was asked in each of the television panels we attended: are the actors told where their characters are going? Jeph Loeb said that Christopher Eccleston was shocked to find he was told nothing of where his character was headed but on Heroes, as with just about every other American tv show, no one knew future developments. We debated this and I took the position that they should be told everything they need to be told. If their character is going to kill someone in cold blood ten episodes down the line, I think that they should know it in order to play a character capable of that.

This was where I went stupid again as I forgot about the train. And then when I remembered and Narrisch inquired if we could make it I said yes at my pace and no at hers. Oh dear. It just came out... out of annoyance at myself. But it hurt her and she barely spoke a word to me for ages. We did miss the train (by seconds). The next one was an hour later so we went to Borders to kill time. It was healing. I think you can always rely on books to be that. We looked at the titles and Narrisch gave me some recommendations I should try out when I have the time. We discussed Robert Jordan (Narrisch hadn't heard that he was terminally ill) and also some books in the "in the news" section.

We left Borders talking about Snape as Narrisch admired the advertising campaign inside the store that asked you whether you thought him good or evil. I tried to defend my position of not really caring either way but admiring JKR for being able to write a character that really could go either way. The talk segued into my general disdain of mysteries in fiction.

We caught the train to go back to Menlo Park at 7 which brought us in at 8. The restaurant I promised to take Narrisch to was right next to the station and so we didn't need to drag our weary bones very far. It is called Iberia and is my favourite place to eat ever because it is tapas. I really can't deal with meals sometimes. Ordering and eating small and tasty courses until you can't eat any more is so much more enjoyable than a plate of stuff. Plus of course I liked this restaurant because of the atmosphere. In the winter there is a fire going and the tables are in nooks, all perfectly intimate. Everything is made from wood and there are panels on the walls. The atmosphere is helped also by the fact that I always sit at the bar rather than one of the intimate tables. Someone is nearly always behind the bar, making getting served very easy, and they are always interesting and friendly. Narrisch and I begged for help in choosing wine (did I mention that I love tapas because you end up drinking most of your meal?) and our guy Alex (I think) poured us tasters. Selecting our vintage, we ordered a bottle and perused the tapas menu. I ordered my two favourite dishes and left Narrisch to select another two. Alex laughed when I described one of my dishes as mini pizzas "but better" though I swear that is what they are... cheese on bread, right? We ended up with a nice assortment and I was certain that we'd need to order more but I found myself full without even having half of the items. I hope Narrisch was also satisfied.

The conversation became quite fluid. Somehow Narrisch was side-tracked into a lengthy explanation of the situation in Ireland during the times of Jonathan Swift. She told me afterwards that she was worried at the time that she was going on too much being somewhat... lubricated. But I am happy to be educated. And by the end of the evening, Alex joined in the conversation and we were talking about Narrisch's genealogy work and the ethnical make-up of Europe. Somehow the conversation evolved and Alex was asking me about string theory and then explaining that he agreed with it because we were all made from the same thing and vibrations from chanting were clearly special. I had not expected Alex to turn out to be a Buddhist but he started talking about it. Not being to add much I just enjoyed his enthusiasm and was grateful that I would not have to explain what string theory was to him.

We left sometime gone ten, after closing. We walk the short distance to chezbob and put the kettle on for tea. My hdd was doing its thing and recording Battlestar Galactica so we took our time getting everything perfect.

Cue intro. "They have a plan..." Cue scoffing. After the start credits rolled we commented on how they used scenes of the upcoming episode and how we felt about it. Narrisch didn't like to watch them apparently but I have never found that they spoil the episode at all. I enjoy watching them and coming away none the wiser, just appreciative of what a fantastic look the show has. Incidentally, I hear in commentaries people say that it costs a lot of money to redo the opening credits sequence (say if a character leaves). BSG does this every week. Someone is telling fibs...

The episode passed so quickly and at the end we turned to look at each other... "What just happened?" In stunned silence we sat, gathering our thoughts. "They didn't just..." More silence. Then Narrisch stepped through denial into bargaining and came up with a couple of explanations I didn't dare question because I valued the peace of mind they brought (one of them she admits is impossible having rewatched the episode). Consoled, we said goodnight and went to sleep.

My alarm went at 7am and I quickly got washed and dressed and put some food on the breakfast bar for Narrisch. She woke up as I shuffled around and we said quiet goodbyes. I left for work, happy with the weekend that has passed... and selfishly glad I didn't have to see Narrisch leave.

Year of the Boar - Lunar Year 4705

Copied and pasted from an email. All of my Chinese New Year photos are at photobucket and my favourites in my flickr stream.



Saturday began at 9 with me rushing around readying chezbob for company. I had laundry to do and also everything had to be clean after many weeks of dirty habits thanks to my cold and trip to Japan. I didn't quite get everything done by the time I needed to leave for the airport. All the laundry was stuffed in my bag rather than neatly put away and the bed remained unmade. As is always the way with laundry, one item seemed to have remained stubbornly wet despite over an hour in the dryer and so my clothes were all damp when I got to them the next day.

But back to Saturday which had gorgeous weather. I got to the airport and only waited a few minutes for Narrisch to emerge. We rambled on in the car, talking absolute nonsense I daresay. In general, our conversations were on Battlestar Galactica touching slightly on her Hobbness, Hobblings, flickr, particle physics, Harry Potter, geneology... it annoys me that I cannot remember more. At some points it was reminiscent of how we argue. For example, we picked a point raised at WonderCon about whether actors should know their arc or be as ignorant of their future as the characters and argued bitterly. Later we discussed mysteries and how I don't enjoy them and we were able to draw these topics together and see how my prejudices are at least consistant.

Aside from the chatter, which was surprisingly incessant, we took a stroll in Menlo Park and ended up at a cafe for lunch. The girl on the till was obviously frazzled. Orders were all over the counter and she frowned as she looked at them. Still, we foolishly ordered and sat outside in the sunshine for quite a while before she came out with my salad (but without cutlery). She asked Narrisch to repeat her order as she obviously didn't have a clue what it was anymore and then disappeared for another ten minutes or so. Eventually we had two meals, cutlery and drinks. We were in no rush apart from our great appetite and kept the chat going so I won't complain. The salad was delicious.

On the way back to chezbob, Narrisch bought a coffee at Peet's. Getting her coffee was a large concern for me but she appeared to be less of an addict than I feared so I did not have to exorcise the coffee machine MR thoughfully left to gather dust in chezbob. At chezbob we gathered what we needed for our evening in the city and relaxed for a while before realising that I had totally forgotten the train times and we had missed the train. For some reason I was off my game all weekend (and in retrospect this has carried on all week) and so utterly annoyed with myself at every turn, taking it out on Narrisch once which was so wrong of me I will be cringing for weeks at the memory. I have mentioned before how I get when there is a place to be at a certain time. I get angsty. And it never helps me get there. Getting there would be helped with just leaving on time. Nevermind though. This just meant that I had to drive in.

I don't drive to the city as a rule. I hate the traffic there particularly the taxis and it takes as long to get there as it does to take the train thanks to congestion and the hunt for parking. Plus of course I am not familiar with driving in the city. However, Narrisch was great at directing me and somehow we remained unscathed despite the man that wouldn't let me get into his lane so that I could turn into the "parking garage" and Narrisch flinging curses at him.

Now on foot, I realised that checking the website for the Chinese New Year parade half a dozen times that week, hadn't actually imprinted on my mind where exactly we were to go. We strode down Market until Narrisch spoke to a doorman who was waving a print-out of the route around (it was good that she was willing to ask for directions as I am qite pathetic at it). Now well-informed we saw that the road right in front of us was closed off and a crowd was gathered. We paused to smile at a little boy with an inflatable Spidey as large as he was and then continued on to find a suitable point to stand (that is one with an unobstructed view). Channeling someone who is not me, I suggested a place right in front of an exotic underwear store. I was probably joking but we did indeed halt there.

There was a man on the other side of the street wearing a pig snout. Every time we tried to take a photo of him, he moved. Otherwise, we were entertained by the two boys sword fighting (later joined by a girl who whupped their arses by using the "waving a sword around like a feather duster" technique) and the continuous sound of explosions as people throw small amounts of gunpowder wrapped by paper on the ground.



The parade starting forming at 5:30. We were rather excited by what we thought was the start of the parade but it was merely the head of the parade moving forward to make enough space for everyone behind. We ended up staring at the same section of the parade for about half an hour as it was forming. Just upstream, a dragon tried to keep excitement levels high by running around and throwing small explosives onto the ground and downstream a troop of fluffy pink girls bounced, seemingly breaking the laws of thermodynamics with their perpetual motion.







Just gone six, the parade started for real. We were inundated with marching bands, dragons, lions and cute kids dressed as piglets. One of the stranger floats had a load of women in fat pig suits coming out of an egg and dancing before going back inside. And there was also a rather tacky fake aeroplane. My favourite float has of course been much documented in photographs (see below or photobucket or flickr). It was Vietamese, I believe and I really fell in love with the girl on it. As skit said, "That girl looks kind of left out and pensive in this one...as though she is the heroine, spotlit off on her own, probably about to have a soliloquy/solo... about loneliness."







It went on forever, it seemed. By 7:30 (ish) we were both suffering a bit from standing or crouching by the curb and thinking that perhaps the parade had nothing new to offer us, just more lions and dragons and pigs (oh my). We moved on to the flickr 3rd birthday party at the Yerba Buena Art's Centre. I am not sure what I expected but a free and yet somehow small party was not it. On entering we given an ID check in case we wanted alcohol. Narrisch was very happy to be asked her age and handed over her ID with such pride and allowed them to scrawl "Beer!" on the back of her hand in a biped-pink pen, a demand she wore with pride. We grabbed as many freebies as we could (a lens cloth, a sticker and some moo-cards) and moved onto the buffet. I grabbed some cheese, bread and hummus and eyed the cupcakes vowing to return.

Cupcakes

The reason behind the party attendance was of course the auction on behalf of "Kids with cameras". Narrisch had fallen in love with this photo and was going to bid on it.

We perused the photos selected for the auction. As we started a woman approached and asked me who I was. "I'm nobody," I replied. "Ah, are you with someone then?" "Yes, my friend dragged me along." (And then to Narrisch:) "Who are you?" "No one you would have heard of...".

It was rather strange. I began to wonder whether we were the only randoms in a rather elite crowd. However, I think the woman was just drunk ("Or high," said Narrisch), since she had a rather violent reaction to one of the photos "Oh that is hideous! Ugh!").

Personally, I liked this one for the colours and light and this one for the world it showed. I really felt I could just step through the glass and be in my own spooky little childhood (that I never had).

We mosied along and pilferred cupcakes. I told you I'd return for you, my sweet little chocolate and cream delicacy. It was absolute heaven. All fresh and rich. (Narrisch: Are these [the circles on top] paper? Me: Well I just ate them...).

A note now on the people there. They all had fantastic cameras and were snap happy. Plus there were plenty of geeky t-shirted men with scraggly beards mingling with dramatically black swathed arty types. Someone brought their baby, a couple of others brought their dogs. It was quite bizarre and I felt that everyone probably had an interesting story to tell (compared to the comic/tv-geeks I spent the next day with anyway). Oh and there were the yipyips.

Back to the point, it was a silent auction. Narrisch checked the bids on her dream photo and it was at $200. She ummed and ahhed for she was unsure when would be the best time to bid strategically (but she was happy with the cost given that it was to go to charity) plus they said they only took cheques (which she did not have with her). After asking the organiser whether cash would be an option and hearing the organiser say that anything would do, even paypal, Narrisch put down her bid of $250. By this point, there was only ten minutes left to the auction and the bidding forms were being held by members of staff. She made the poor man holding the blossoms form present his back to her so she could lean on it as she wrote.

What followed were an anxious few minutes as people checked the bid levels and then moved on. Even I was getting nervous on Narrisch's behalf. As the clocked ticked on and the members of staff counted down the seconds, it became obvious that there was no last minute rush with the auction and Narrisch had won.

We hopped, skipped and jumped across to the Metreon, a cinema complex by Yerba Bueno Gardens, and found an ATM (in fact quite a few but only one was not "out of order" or having a "healthcheck"). Narrisch grabbed her cash and we jumped, skipped and hopped back to the auction where she exchanged cash for photo.

After putting the photo in the car (and discussing just how Narrisch was to get something too large for carry-on and too delicate for check-in back to Colorado- answer, she leaves it for me to sort out with UPS), we sauntered into Mel's Diner. On the way we noticed a few oddities dressed up as Darth Maul or other monsters. Narrisch realised before I did that they were from WonderCon which had their masquerade party that evening. This taster of the convention we were to attend the next day continued inside the diner as many people in costume or merely in comicgeekwear were apparent. We sat at the bar of the diner and Narrisch was next to someone reading Civil War Frontline issue 11 (which is the latest and last issue in a series I rate rather highly but the issue itself had some poor moments). She pretty much had to restrain me from asking the man for his opinion once he was done. I explained (but not very well) the story of Marvel's Civil War and we laughed at how it took her a while to realise that when jes talked about the Civil War, she did not mean the American one. I also laughed at the jukebox choices we had including such tracks as "I fall to pieces" and "Crazy" not to mention "CC Rider" (oops I mentioned it).

Basically I laughed. I was stupidly happy. What had we done? We had spent the day doing nothing until 6 when the parade started. But then we saw some fantastic floats and marching bands, schools, martial art groups and performers. And we had also won a photo (I say we in the loosest sense but I did feel some victory). The day had been spiced with a lot of conversation on rather geeky things but on an intelligent-BSG level. I have still to get back to her with the explanation of SUSY though.

The drive home was uneventful and once in chezbob, we had spearmint tea and looked at our photographs. So many are blurred (on Narrisch's as well) but still, they captured the movement and colour of the event. I went to bed charged on the driving, the auction, the cupcake and the Vietamese girl gazing into nothing.

"I like to stalk you in my thoughts"

My shifts

Note, Day is 8am to 4pm.
Swing 4pm to 12am.
Owl 12am to 8am.

There is a daily meeting (including weekends) at 8:45.


Sunday March 11th --- Owl
Saturday March 17th --- Swing
Sunday March 18th --- Owl
Monday March 19th --- Swing
Tuesday March 20th --- Owl
Saturday March 24th --- Swing
Sunday March 25th --- Owl


I think someone hates us.