I know that no one cares about this or it would have drawn some comment on the Board but I put things here that
I want to keep, to look at and refer back to. So just ignore it as you did before.
During drama class for GCSE, there was an improvisation where half the class watched the other half act out a scene where they had all gathered for lunch. The first half to improvise were teenagers at school. The second half were the parents of the teenagers. The second improvisation was quite clever and interesting because they took what they saw in the teenager's conversations and built upon them. Either as persceptive parents who worried for their children or an parents oblivious to the damage they were causing. But I was in the teenage scene. And for me, the interest wasn't in how well the scene was executed. In fact, it was quite poorly done but that told me a lot. What happened was was that regardless of what ideas about character we took to the improvisation, we ended up just being ourselves. I attempted to get "in" with the "in crowd" but attempts to engage them, make jokes and comment on their stories were met with snide comments, bullying and then I was just plain ignored. I wish now that I had done something different than merely "try" to be "in". That wasn't changing my character at all- that was just being someone who didn't know attempts were doomed to failure. What I should have done was used the f word. I should have sworn my bloody mouth and not cared at all for the consequences. I wonder what would have happened if I had. If I had done something so daring, so not me. If I had called such great attention to myself. I doubt I would have lived it down in the long-term actually. It would have been a source of ridicule. But it would have been different at least.
