Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince

Copied and edited from emails with sus.

Spoilers included naturally. Page numbers are from the US hardback edition.

July 17th (200 pages)
Damn that woman (JKR) is clever. Spinning me on thinking "well yeah a double agent could escape with vague vows like that" up until the final one. But Draco didn't kill Harry when he had the chance on the train so that couldn't have been his order... so I live in hope that the order the Draco must do and Snape carry out if/when he fails isn't all that bad. Either that or Snape would commit suicide rather than act out the vow.

What? No- I am refusing to entertain the notion that Snape is anything but a double agent here.
I lay in a doze this morning dreaming that I was reading HP. It took me a while to work out that if only I could wake myself I could be reading it for real.

Hee. Heeheeeeee. Go read more.

Well yeah- eventually. But I think I need a break at the mo to extend this good feeling a while. Oddly enough though, JKR's pace means that there isn't much Imagining to be done. She just goes through the tedium of the school year without proper events just gorgeous detail and jokes and characters. What I mean is there haven't been (and there rarely are in her books) moments when I've snapped the book shut going "oh my bob I can't carry on until I've Imagined every outcome of this revelation/event". I love those moments and without them I feel like I could just hurtle on and read and read. But I think that I shouldn't. If I stop and mull it over, I am sure I can come up with some delightful Imaginings. It doesn't help that I can't remember the previous two books that well (ie the ones that are not also films!).

Am intriguied by Harry and Ginny...

I love it when Hermione points out to Harry that he and Snape sound the same when they wax lyrical about DADA.

(300 pages)
Page 300 and I knew Harry was brilliant! Haven't I always said that Fitz was not thick? I mean, er... Harry. Same thing. Why do people always put down my heroes? Har-ry (da da da) Har-ry (da da da). Erm... that was a chant.

Although he is talking an awful lot nowadays. He's usually quieter...

18th July (458 pages)
I love it and almost have had some Imagining opportunities. Almost. But they kind of fall apart when I realise that I don't care about all the pesky hormonal relationships and don't know enough about the grand picture to imagine the action.

There isn't enough Luna or Neville so far... I miss the DA! Okay, I get that Harry is overworked as it is... but that was important. Oh but nothing is more important than Quidditch... blah!

I must admit that currently I am a bit annoyed by the first chapter. It feels superfluous and I wonder why she didn't just start with chapter two. Oh well...

Why are you saying Harry's brilliant by page 300?

He just is. Everything he has done has been great apart from getting caught spying on Malfoy. That was dumb. He relies on that cloak way too much. But yeah, I keep being surprised by him. Well, not surprised. More proud that he does what I think he will do rather than what I am afraid JKR would make him do.

he is just
incredibly pig-headed at times. Well…not really I guess.

Yeah- not really! Okay, I know that he doesn't sit back and go "hmm... well let me wait until there is no possible doubt as to who is good and who is bad" but that is a good thing. Sometimes you have to be proactive. And I do think that he has been wonderfully intuitive and observant so far.

Re-reading, I noticed in passing that Harry absolutely rocks when he's
talking to Scrimgeour at the Burrow.

Yeah- I was expecting him to say or do something wrong. I don't know what... I just expected him to sound like a child when confronted with the might of Scrimgeour. But he spoke like a man in complete control which is saying something as Scrimgeour seems to be rather strong and imposing. Harry does rock. He was an excellent Quidditch captain both in how he held the trials and how he coped with Ron's lack of confidence. He also treated Ron and Hermione excellently afetr being put in such an awkward position. I am pretty sure I would have fared worse. I would have felt obliged to poke my nose in. Another person may have not been able to retain both friends. But Harry kept being there for each of them and treating the situation very gently. Sigh. If anything he is a little too perfect. He keeps getting pleased looks from Dumbledore. He's doing an awful lot of homework and more newts than a sane person should do... well, he is doing one more than he planned (he didn't mention dropping anything for Potions). And and... well, I fear he is either becoming dull or being set up for a fall.

19th July (555 pages)
So have I finished? No. I am at page 555 and I had to stop. It was getting far too emotional. If I was a cartoon character I'd be red in the face with steam coming out of my ears. I can't believe Snape... I can't. I want Harry to kill him. Well, I don't want Harry to be a murderer (I was in such shock at what he did, accidentally, to Malfoy) but I want there to be a suitable scenario like... Harry has to choose to save either Snape or someone else and opts for someone else so Snape dies. Or Snape asks Harry for help and he refuses and Snape, as a consequence, dies. Gah- I just want Snape to suffer at the hand of Harry, but not sadistically. I just can't believe.... I can't stand... gah! And to think I was having so much sympathy for Snape in OotP! How stupid was I? How could I have thought for a second that Snape's memories of being bullied excused how he treated Harry? They don't! I'm such an idiot... What did I expect? "Oh you were bullied? Well I am bullied too! Let's be best friends!" (said in the tone of Cordelia in Spin the Bottle - "You go to school too? Well let's be best friends so I can lose all my cool ones"). Did I really believe that a shared tale of woe would bond the two and break all their problems with eachother? Did I think that the fact that Snape had issues with James Potter excused him? Hell no. He's an adult for crying out loud... still harbouring grudges? Of course Harry was right to ignore the penseive revelations- why on earth should they make him feel sympathy for the man that is Snape? The teen yes but the man? Argh. How stupid was I. So now that I have learnt that Snape had a part in James and Lily dying I am sickened... does he feel no remorse? No guilt? How could he not have the first impulse to help Harry, make amends for making him an orphan. What a nasty man. He had better die... Harry deserves his revenge.

See- I am far too emotional to continue. Far too mad. So I stopped at the end of the chapter. Dumbledore and Harry are off to a cave or something... whatever. I'm dubious about whether I can pick it up and finish tonight.

Sigh. It is all too much.

So I snapped the book closed and stormed about chezbob for a while banging pots and pans, making dinner.

*ponders if you're finished by now or if you went to bed like a sensible person*

Well, I still didn't go to bed early. Sigh. Hee hee- you know who I felt like? I felt like Joey. I wanted to put the book in the freezer.

Grand picture Imagining is one thing I find I really am doing at the
end, more than I've ever done before. I really feel like I stand a
chance at guessing some of it for the first time.

I know what you mean. It is hard to GPI with HP because it feels planned and structured and there are too many damn secrets. I often have great pleasure in imagining Harry talking to Muggles over the holidays though and making friends and having the necessary revelation... Imaginings have to have Revelations.

Oh, I've forgotten and I hope you can remind me bearing in mind I haven't finished HBP yet but it shouldn't be a question that requires you to spoil... What was the explanation for Harry sharing Voldemort's thoughts and Parselmouth and so on? I am sure it must have come up but I have forgotten... and was struck by an awful thought reading HBP but it can't be true...

What did you think of Sectumsempra? Nastily vicious spell, innit?

Yeah I think I mentioned that my heart was torn out at what Harry could have done. I must agree with his sentiments though about the Half-Blood Prince. It wasn't an instruction to do the spell... it did clearly say enemies and if threatened by someone like... Bellatrix?... that could be handy. Would have been helpful if there were instructions as to what the spell did! Though maybe old Half-blood didn't know...

No, I don't have a clue who it is and I wonder whether I am being a wee bit thick about it. All the suspects I have thought of either do not fit the half-blood category, wouldn't admit to being half-blood or are inconsequential which doesn't seem to be JKR's way (things that are mentioned tend to have a purpose... though saying that I would have applied the same logic to her Hobbness but she obviously went back on that by forgetting all the games she played with the fool's gender).

> and was struck by an awful thought reading HBP but it can't be
> true...

I was going to write an inquisitive look there. But now...in answering
the previous bit...I too have just had an awful thought. Oh no. Can't
be...I wonder if you're thinking what I'm thinking?

Brain: Are you thinking what I'm thinking, Pinky?
Pinky: I think so, Brain, but wouldn't Dumbledore have thought it too?
Brain: Yeeesss.... but not necessarily told Harry. Instead he'd have spun some yarn about a snake...

It is an awful thought isn't it? And as I couldn't remember what the previous explanation was... and now I look at what you say it was and realise how flimsy an explanation that is...

I am still thinking it.

I thought it... and then Dumbledore said that live animals could be a Horcrux too... and I wailed. But maybe I have missed something... As I said, I don't remember the previous books too well. I never reread past book 2 (they got too long...).

I'm not sure how it could work, though....and she surely can't kill
Harry off at the end. If I'm thinking along the same lines as you. But
no....no, he can't be.

I think "she can't kill Harry" is the poorest excuse ever. She so can and she probably will.

But...oh, I
wonder. He must at least have had a bit of his soul ready to go into
one when he'd killed Harry...I wonder what object it could have been?
Perhaps it's still at Godric's Hollow...can't be in Harry, though. At
least not completely...the Riddle in the diary was conscious and
pretty evil. We've had no hint of anything like that inside Harry
anywhere.

Haven't we? I think Harry is pretty dark. Besides, I think he is more capable of resisting being swamped by a soul fragment than a book is.

20th July (655 pages)

Heehee. Sadistically might be quite good fun too. You got me thinking
with all this, and I posted the question in the HP thread but no-one's
answering me. Grr. But what the hell is Snape's excuse for behaving
the way he does towards Harry?

Well, I think you've noticed that I blathered about this in my email some ("some" sounds Fireflyish...). I don't know why I was convinced hatred of James would justify Snape treating Harry the way he does. It doesn't... Such a fool. I think you have to be right- there is something more. JKR would have thought about something as crucial as this properly and would have a real reason. Do you think Snape suspects Harry is a Horcrux? Do you think he tries to hurt Harry the way he was hurt to drive him towards Voldemort? Make him see how fallible his parents were and take away the protection of their love? But gah- like you I can't fathom how Snape can actually be evil. All evidence to the contrary! It just seems... Dumbledore wouldn't fall for it. Would he? How could Snape be such a great Occulums or whatever the word was if he removes memories before teaching Harry? Gah! I just felt... I had flashes of Narnia. It seemed all staged when Snape strode in and... yet... also... dammit. I can't get my head around it.

I can't I can't I.... I sound like Kreacher.

Sigh.

Okay... JKR is a genius at playing me. She set it all up with such ingenuity... making me believe that Dumbledore was going to die at the cave ("oh dear... he has imparted all his knowledge onto Harry- why didn't I see this coming?") and then surviving ("Oh- dammit I thought he was going to die! Stop teasing me...") and then being threatened by Draco ("Oh jimminy crickets!") and then talking him out of it ("sigh") and the suggestion that the required death had already occured ("oh") and then... begging for mercy. Egads. She played it so well. Somehow... it worked so well. It wasn't out of the blue, a random killing... it wasn't a blink and you miss it like I felt Sirius was ("Serious"! *snigger*). It was...

But then she didn't leave it at that but went on with some very real grief which made me cry so much... Bah, I even laughed when Harry laughed during the required montage of clips from when Dumbledore was alive... It was very much like a film at this point! In my mind. His idea of a few words! Ha... so funny. Egads, I can't cry now as Stewart will see me... he is at page 150 apparently and I told him that I was crying for hours (well, minutes) and he looked a bit angry at me for telling him that the ending is tragic.

But you know what really made me blub? Hogwarts closing. Or at least, Harry not going back.

Oh dammit.

Where was I? I dunno. Ha- yeah the ending was like a movie. It was like Spider-man! Hey, MJ and Ginny even have hair-colour in common!

And also "poster-boy"? Is that a common phrase? I have only ever heard it in Angel and was convinced it was Buffyspeak.

Dammit it was superb. Kind of envigorating.

Then I wound down by washing up in the style of Buffy in that season 5 episode when Joyce is temporarily back from the hospital and about to be attacked by the snot monster from outer space.

But but but I haven't a clue what to think about Snape.

Sigh. I love that Harry was concerned for Draco at the end of it. And just such the man... but I do worry that he spent an entire book being too perfect. Except he should have continued with the DA. I feel so sorry for Neville and Luna for being left out but they still rallied at the end. And I can't believe they were the only ones... it is painful that no one else understood how important it was.

Gah. And poor Bill. But I am happy that we saw that side of Fleur. And I am glad Tonks is happier now... even if it is with Lupin. Well, he does feel the eternal bachelor to me. I really like Tonks and wanted more of her (and Neville and Luna...). I like her "Wotcha"s and missed them!

Of course, this is assuming he is on
the side of good…but I have to assume that. If he's evil then…oh, it
just sucks. He'd better be (generally) good. I think I may have a bit
of a Snape blindspot.

Yep. But it just feels wrong... either way it feels wrong. Dumbledore had already been burnt by Tom Riddle, he wouldn't have been fooled by Snape without excellent reason and we don't know what it is... Dammit. I need all six books to be rewritten from Snape's perspective!

(re Penseive memories in OotP)

I'd guess one would be a crucial one that would tell us
once and for all whose side he's on. What d'you reckon the other was?

Isn't it weird that he feared Harry enough to remove them? Except maybe he wanted Harry to see them? Again, possibly a bit of a stretch.

he seems to do in OotP but then is back with the hero-worship in HBP).

Really? I think he accepts that he was a bit of a rebel and feels some shame. I can't quote page numbers or anything but I didn't get that he had forgotten what he had learnt- he just sees the fact that he was his father and he stood up to Voldemort as more important than how he was as a teen. I think... well, you obviously wouldn't relate to this!... that most people see their fathers as a bit of a hero and don't consider how they are in the other roles- i.e. it is only how well they succeed at being a father that matters.

*ponders*…nah, I'll wait until I know you've completely finished. I'm
guessing you'll have more to say on this subject by then, and how I
feel about Snape is pretty influenced by the stuff you haven't read
yet.

Actually no... I am confused. I don't feel any more angry than I did. Snape sadistically bullied Harry for six years and played a part in the death of his parents. That hurts a lot more than an act that I just know I don't know half the story of.

> Sigh. It is all too much.

I found the ending all too much.

Beautiful... Just right. Perfect. Sublime.

I think I
would currently settle for seeing him cry. In front of Harry,
obviously. That would just be superb. How good was it to see Draco
crying, by the way?

Yeah, that was good. Yes, I like how Harry sees him as a threat, as a real danger, and yet knows that he also deserves pity.

(re not guessing Snape was the Half-Blood Prince)

Yes, I think you are. :) I'm not sure when I felt fairly certain of
whose it was but it was earlyish on. Certainly by the time Harry used
sectumsempra I was 99% sure.

Piffle.

> All the suspects I have thought of either do not fit the
> half-blood category, wouldn't admit to being half-blood or are
> inconsequential

I'm guessing the real HBP fits into the middle category…and it does
make me wonder why he'd use it as a name. Harry's conclusions about
that at the end feel very wrong to me.

Yep. Middle category. All Death eaters got put in middle category. But then again I should have been onto him as he fitted the "boy with no friends" category so well. Sigh.

See….I'm not sure Dumbledore would have thought of it.

Hey, if I can think of something, Dumbledore can.

I agree the
snake is very unlikely. But I think it'd be more like Dumbledore to
either tell him flat-out

Oh by the way Harry you probably have a bit of his soul in you and in order to kill Voldemort you probably will have to die. In the meantime, help me out in finding and destroying Horcruxes, okay? What's the matter- you look a bit pale? Did I say something upsetting?

Oh yes, like the communication mirror (?) that Harry forgot about in OotP, there was that delicious moment when you realise that it was all for nought... a fake Horcrux. Oh man...

> I think "she can't kill Harry" is the poorest excuse ever. She so can and
> she probably will.

The more I think about it – thinking about this book especially – the
more I think I agree. I kind of hope she doesn't, though.

I think that she is setting it up such that Harry would have to be willing to kill himself or sacrifice himself... I imagine a scenario where all the horcruxes are gone including the current incarnation of Voldemort and Harry has to kill himself before Voldemort rises in him and kills him. But as a last twist they find a way to remove the horcrux and put it somewhere else...Oh I dunno. I think that we are going to think that Harry will die and then he will survive.

This theory does fit fantastically well with the prophecy, though. I
never did completely understand why it had to say 'neither can live
while the other survives' – that seemed a very long-winded way to say
one had to kill the other.

Exactly. Exactly.

what object Voldemort had been planning on using as the Horcrux.

Maybe it always was meant to be Harry. If Harry kills him as prophesised he may reason that his revenge is to be born again in Harry and destroy him.