Garvan
Garvan is posting again and has been doing so for over a year! I can't believe it! Wow.
Quick history written 2006:
Garvan is a long story and an old obsession of mine. He posted on the bbc science board, going on about the hollow earth and creationism. A colourful character (the science board attracts them). He started a blog and I and many many others started our watch. It was hard... you couldn't leave it for a minute without missing something. Garvan did many entries spouting Free-Presbytarian rubbish (and how he was British definitely not Irish) but what was great were the comments. People would swear and post comments to rile him. And he got riled. He deleted comments left, right and centre. He banned entire ip ranges from commenting. It was most amusing.
So time passed and Garvan tried repeatedly to persuade scientists of the obvious lie of "evilution". All arguments were squashed and let he would go on to claim victory. And sing the praises of the crazy-arses Kent Hovind and Ian Paisley.
So far so fun.
But then it got crazy.
For a start, Garvan got an air-gun. And started killing birds that sang, keeping him awake (he was an insomniac).
When a murderer was in the run in his area, he went out with his air-gun to do be the good civilian. He was arrested but let out without charge.
He was getting crazier... and posting and moderating all the time at work while spying on his co-workers and their dodgy-deals out of a car boot in the workplace car park. The co-workers found out. They saw his blog where they had been slandered. And Garvan was fired.
Garvan volunteered his services as an undertaker and started work experience. He was also running "science" experiments in his home. He was trying to cure cancer and used fungi instead of cancer cells as they seemed to be sort of the same to him. He was testing household cleaners on them. One post described how he was rushed to hospital for inhaling cleaning fumes.
Not long after, some Mormons called on him. He invited them in and tried to beat them at their own game. He swore that he would teach the Mormons.
Now my knowledge is a bit hazy because... he did go crazy. His posts described seeing man-sized cancer cells attacking his house. Garvan went to hospital and was put on drugs. He left of his own volition and was better for a while. But then there was a fire in his home town. Another "watcher" reported it on the yahoo group someone set up. He noticed a Mormon church had been set on fire.
Surely a coincidence... But Garvan posted no longer. A few days later there was a post apologising that he had to go away for a while.
The next time anyone heard from him, he was on the bbc science boards apologising for his actions. He was now a Mormon after the local church had shown him surprising compassion.
Back to 2009...
I am not sure what church Garvan is attending now but it's like he never left. Still as loopy as ever:
Ouch!
I stuck a pen knife in an electrical socket this morning to see whether electricity was flowing through it or not, but got a massive shock in the process. I am now in pain and my arm is numb, I think I might go to A&E for a check-up.
It is hard to believe he is real but equally hard to believe it has been faked for so long just for the bbc science board. Reading his blog really is like reading a well crafted tale. Highly recommended not just for humour but for the drama and (admittedly sad) insight into mental illness.
The Garvanian
posted by keppet @ 9:54 PM
