English Girl In Tokyo

From an email not to skit.


I bravely went into Tokyo on my own today.

I had to catch a bus by myself into Tsukuba Center and then the new Tsukuba Express into Akihabara. The bus was a bit of fun in itself. Quite sensibly, I didn't have to pay until I got off the bus. Displaying typical Japanese trust in people's honesty, the driver never checked that I paid the correct amount. Getting my train ticket was as easy as pie as the automated ticket machines had an English option though I didn't even have to use it. There is something so sublimely simple in how the Japanese do things. So efficient and effective.

The train took about 45 minutes and then I was at Akihabara. I had the idea of doing some Christmas shopping so I took the JR line to Sinjuku station and went to Times Square- a tall shopping complex that housed only a few separate but very large stores. The shop that took up most of the space was a department store with the usual sections of clothing, home furnishings, toys etc. Basically a vast Fenwicks. I almost wish that I had come with $1000 and an empty suitcase because I love the Japanese styles of clothing. Everyone dresses in a unique and fun way. The old and the young, the rich and the poor- everyone is stylish and unique. Europeans can't manage being both at once and the Americans can't manage either. But as I wasn't looking for clothes, I went straight up to the toy department. Which was fun. I was amazed at how much Winnie The Pooh and Thomas the Tank Engine stuff there was. I expected a lot more Hello Kitty and Pokemon. I also expected more robots roaming the level but alas the only robots were locked in their cardboard boxes and without demonstrations I wasn't able to find out what they did.

There was a small area of souvenirs and gift ideas where I bought a few things but really shopping in Tokyo proved next to impossible. It's hard enough in places I know. Before I left Shinjuku, I used one of the department store customer toilets and was greeted by the option to wash my buttocks, use the bidet option (ladies only) and dry myself. I just used the toilet paper and flush. Oh, I also passed a stall that sold fruit on a stick. Mmmm pineapple.

I hopped back on the JR train to Akihabara and browsed the electronics stores for discount dvds, remembering a friend's request that I pick some up. Alas I couldn't find any priced reasonably. All the dvds were around the 4000 Yen mark ($40/£20+ I think?). I found one shop that had cheap videos on the first level and a sign seemed to say that there were dvds on floors 4,5 and 6. So I hopped on the escalator to go up. I passed some floors of household equipment and the like and then got to floor 4. Perhaps the type of clientel should have warned me. All men. I was greeted at the top of the escalator with a tv showing hard porn. All the pictures around the escalator were of women in various states of undress. And the escalators only went up. I clung to the escalator rail hoping that the next floor wouldn't be porn... but it was. And the next. And horror of all horrors, it was also the last floor. No more escalators. So I had to get off and roam the level looking desperately for a way down. I saw a green exit sign and went in that direction but I could see no exit. I tried a door hoping it would lead to some stairs and found myself in the men's toilets. After this debacle, I decided not to do any more dvd hunting. As soon as I made my escape from this building of embarrassment, I caught the Tsukuba Express and then a bus back to my hotel.