One of Me

Email to skit (edited):

Saturday at the Farscape and Stargate convention. Did laundry but had to drag it out of the dryer before it dried properly so put on my damp socks and Blue Sun t-shirt. Rushed out and got the train to San Jose and once there realised that I was going to be an hour late if I couldn't figure out their public transport system... and was greeted by the easiest public transport in the world. A light railway went right up the street I needed to go up. Perfect. And there was a stop just outside the hotel I was aiming for. So I arrived on time and got my ticket and sidled into the room for the convention. I was surprised at how small the room was. Seating for about a hundred I'd guess. Maybe even less but I am not good at judging. I sat myself down as far forward as my cheap seats ticket would allow, next to a woman who appeared to be by herself. I wondered whether I should strike up a conversation with her but chose to bide my time and observe so I whipped out a book and pretended to read as I listened in on the conversations around me. One guy in the row behind me was wearing a red Star Trek Next Gen uniform. Egads. Two rows behind him there was a normal looking guy (maybe this should elicit shock too?) who for some reason had engaged Trekkie freak in conversation. It didn't take Normal long to work out that Freak didn't in fact like the shows represented at the convention so he turned his attention on a woman with great taste in t-shirts (Blue Sun) and I sat wondering if I could edge myself into a conversation with them but alas they were focussed on Stargate and not Farscape. Anyway, woman next to me started talking to guy next to her and I realised that she too was a Trekkie (albeit one in a cunning disguise as she didn't have a uniform) who cared little for the shows the convention was all about. No conversation seemed to be about Farscape or indeed any show I watched (er, that would be the Whedonverse basically). So I read until the start of the show.

When the organiser/host stepped onto the stage he was interrupted by Freak standing up and coming to attention. He barked out "I think we should have a minute's silence..." and the thought flying through my head was 11th November but no, he went on: "for the tragic year Star Trek has had." Again my thoughts went down the wrong path as I thought about how awful Enterprise was and Star Trek in general but no, he wasn't commenting on the quality of the show but the death of one of the original actors. Fair enough but... at a Farscape/Stargate convention? The host was adept at dealing with Freak and got him to sit down after promising some mention of the actor later maybe...

So. There were fan made videos to begin. One I swear I have seen before which maybe means it is on the Peacekeeper Wars dvds... Clips of Farscape were set to music in a weird and funny way (the one I had seen was set to The Muppet Show theme) and it was amusing and diverting. They also took up time with quizzes all about Stargate SG1 which unsurprisingly I couldn't really partake in (I maybe should tell you my SG1 credentials which are that I used to watch it every week until I went to MIT but the UK was 1 1/2 seasons behind and so I never caught up). But hey, it was fun. There was also an auction for scifi items like autographs and t-shirts and this one lady bought half the items. She must have spent about $1000 and then she came back the second day and there was another auction and she spent even more money- again around $1000. Yikes. I assume she sells them on to get a profit which seems utterly unfair. Anyway, a poster of Chiana plus an autograph ticket went for $200. Wowzers. So other time fillers included stalls of scifi merchandise and episodes of Stargate. On day one they had a clip show episode. What possessed them? And it was one I had seen. Awful.

But the meats of the afternoon were the appearances of Gigi Edgely and Don S Davis (who is this commander figure in Stargate whose role it is to say "what's going on?" each week and so get the exposition rolling). Ah Gigi was wonderful. She kicked off her sandals and was barefoot on the stage as she answered questions from the audience. Often she'd raise her leg to 90 degrees from her body and swing it around. Or ripple her torso backwards. Her movements weren't Chiana but uniquely her own. Kind of fascinating... So she kept us entertained for an hour. I wanted to kill Freak Trekkie for standing up (at attention) and asking her the same totally irrelevant question twice! Ah well. Anyway. I can't remember much of what she said but it was all very amusing and she was very engaging. In contrast big bad Don (remember the Domestos ads? I loved them...) came on and talked about death. Thanks for being so morbid, just what I wanted. He's lived half his life with the risk of having the final heart-attack so fair enough, it's on his mind. But he did go on and on... He did readings. Readings! A few poems and even bits from screenplays. His monotonic accent near sent to the land of nod. Ah well. He was fascinating in an old man kind of way and I appreciated how loyal he was to Stargate. Oh which reminds me of how critical Gigi was (which I also admired... I admire loyalty but you can also tear into a show if it deserves it). She said she hated the Jothee twist and did her best to get the writers to change their minds and then to justify it (which I think she managed- it is more in Chiana's nature to do something crazy and hurtful than to settle down into marriage...). She was also critical of how rushed the Peacekeeper Wars was so maybe you should keep that in mind when you see them.

Okay so... is that the end of day one? I didn't want to stay for a photo with either one or an autograph as I'm not really a collector of such things though I would have loved to talk to her and generally apologise for Freak and the rest of the lack-lustre bunch. Oh I didn't mention a woman that talked and talked inbetween events about such trivialities I immediately had to block her out and erase all memory of what she was saying. No one was listening to her but she kind of picked on a few people to direct her comments to and they were looking away uneasily. And not to be insulting or anything but the ugly stick had been used with gay abandon at this convention. And again, this is me saying it. Sheesh. One woman... well, you know that kind of middle-aged hair style which isn't tight curlers but still kind of short curled hair that makes a helmet around the head? Well imagine that on the front half of the head and then long hair on the back. What on earth possessed the woman?

I popped out to get the light railway back to the station and the woman sitting next to me joined me on the platform and asked if I was at the convention. I was sitting next to you, incognito-freak. She then asked me who the first woman was. First woman? I worked out she meant that she didn't know the first guest, i.e. Gigi. She attended a convention and sat through it and never worked out the guests? I had to sit next to her on the train and what took mere moments earlier that day became a terribly long ride as she explained to me how she went just to buy t-shirts. T-shirts of shows she never watched... because people would come up to her and say that they liked what she was wearing. Yeeeesss.... and did they snigger as they said it?

Okay so maybe I should move on. Day two? I arrived at the hotel a little later as I stopped off to buy lunch on my way to the hotel and sat down in the same place as before but this time next to a guy with a good normality ranking (who observed that I obviously slept in longer that morning... which I did so that was weird). We had a nice conversation and it was good to sit next to him as he was obviously enjoying himself... and I think he actually came for more than just the t-shirts. We bitched a bit about the talkative woman no one listened to. Anyway, the same kind of events happened and the episode they showed was yet again one I had seen but it was actually one of my favourite episodes (starring Claudia Black as someone much more energetic and funnier than Aeryn). The guest for the day was Michael Shanks which felt weird as he has met QuOS and I haven't... Just doesn't seem right. Anyhoo, he was introduced with one of those fan made music vids that basically was just an excuse to perve at him in various states of (un)dress.

So he comes on in jeans, dusty blue t-shirt and a 3/4 length black leather coat. And the audience is noisy for the first time... There are cat-calls and cheers and big hellos from people that seem to be his stalkers. It quietened down... in a way... and a fun occasionally civil conversation was started between Michael and the audience, some members just shouting out questions and comments and others raising their hand. There was a huge buzz and he was a fantastic comedian. He had the timing and the facial expressions done perfectly. Little anecdotes and jokes from the set... impressions of Stewie from Family Guy and of getting shafted by network execs... insinuations of the size of his co-star's genitalia... how he teases Ben Browder about working with puppets... hi-larious stuff. Really. Unlike David Boreanaz though he utterly failed to make the token little kid cry. Which was a shame.

Ah it was all great. An amazing hour that went too fast.

Incidentally, I really don't think I had any tv shows in common with the people there... Weird. I thought that I'd be admitted as "One of Us" but really no... Well, apart from the obvious shows on the SciFi Channel. Anyway. I maybe should mention that women throwing themselves as Michael was a little unattractive but they basically shut up after the first minute. But there was a guy that just kept going on and if it is unattractive from women it is more unattractive from a man... Ugh. And oddly there was a blind women who was making requests for a Men of Scifi calendar.