Live Fast Die Never

Glen picked me up at 8am Wednesday in the mammoth SUV “Ford Excursion”. I admit to some feelings of guilt about being driven in an SUV. It is very comfortable but I do feel we could have got away with something that doesn’t destroy small countries every time it accelerates from 0 to 60. We then went to pick up Steve and Stewart and were on the road by quarter to nine. It wasn’t a difficult journey to Las Vegas- just a long one. The countryside in California was dry and rolling and only reached a high point when we drove past a reservoir. And yet I was pressed up against the window as such a dry country was novel to me. Drier was of course yet to come. We stopped off at a diner for brunch and then another for a late lunch. The second diner was in the Mojave Desert. I can confirm that deserts are both hot and dry. I went to toilet before I left and came outside with my hands still wet from the sink. By the time I had walked the twenty metres to the car, they were totally dry.

We planned to come into Vegas along Frank Sinatra Drive and had “My Way” cued on the ipod. But Glen did it his way instead and we came in via a rather odd route. We did get onto Las Vegas Boulevard though and saw such key hotels as the one that looks like a pyramid, the one that loons like Manhattan and finally one that looked like Paris- our hotel for the night.

We checked in and took a quick shower in our respective rooms. The room was surprisingly standard for $125 a night. I expected tea-making facilities at the least… oh dear, my mother comes through again. We met downstairs at 7:30pm for pre-dinner cocktails (well, Steve had a beer) and then went to a restaurant in Paris. It was all rather nice though they did rush us a bit even resorting to bringing the main course before the starters had been finished. With cameras at the ready, we left Paris and crossed the street to the Belagio. Glen was raving about the fountains. After a few minutes of scepticism, the music started. Luck be a Lady Tonight… a song that regrettably reminds me of “dance” at school with Mrs Bramley. The arc of fountains in front of the Belagio started to spray water in time with the music, sometimes going high, sometimes low, sometimes dancing from side to side. Here in the middle of the desert, water was putting on a performance. It was rather good. We popped inside the Belagio to gaze at its opulence. Paris was expensive yet slightly cheesy with an interior decked out like a Parisian street (well, a Hollywood-style Parisian street) complete with fake sky ceiling. The Belagio was quite simply sumptuous. Except for the odd figure made out of flowers and fake mechanical owls as large as a small car.

We then walked down to New York and spent a short amount of time in an Irish pub just so Steve could feel more at home. There was a band playing with a girl dancing, each rapid stamp of the foot picked up by a microphone adding to the music. It was great to watch and listen to but Steve informed me that he had seen children dance better. We stayed in New York for a while, moving onto a small bar with a band playing. From here to the MGM casino (if that is what it is called…) where Steve, Glen and Stewart started their gambling of the evening on the Blackjack table. I hung around to see Steve get two blackjacks in the same hand and then made my excuses to stumble back to Paris by 1am.

I woke at 9 and flicked on TNT for my quite necessary dose of Charmed. It pained me greatly to miss it the day before although I am consoled to know that it will be on tape when I get home. This hour felt good. I met up with the boys at 10:30am. I was so surprised to see them up. Apparently they had rolled in around 6am after losing about $100 each on the poker tables. Despite next to no sleep, they looked good and we head off to a coffee shop for breakfast before hitting the road again.

This journey took us from Nevada with large plains of sand and low lying bushes to the north-west corner of Arizona which was slightly more dramatic but still too hot. From Arizona to Utah and Zion National Park. Here the landscape was quite dramatic with steep cliff faces of red rock slowly becoming steeper and more verdant as we entered the canyon. We arrived in Springdale and checked into the Pioneer Lodge. The boys had a suite to themselves- a bedroom with twin queens, two bathrooms, a kitchen and a living room with a pull-out bed. My room was slightly more standard with just a bed and bathroom but it still struck me as much better than Paris. The bed and walls were red and the furniture made from dark logs. I loved it. I also loved the boys’ sofas and tea-making capabilities.

On the first night, we went to a bar and discovered the peculiarities of a dry state. Apparently drinks could only be served with food. Which meant we had some Mexican snacks with our drinks (though I stuck to the Cranberry juice). We then played a little pool. I lagged behind Glen during our game, potting a few balls when no one was looking prompting calls of cheat, finally winning when he potted the black before time. We then picked up more drinks (cocoa for me) and crisps at a local Shell and bought some souvenir playing cards leading to a game of poker in the boys’ suite. This quickly came to an end as a thunderstorm started up and we went onto the balcony to watch.

I got up at 8am the next day and switched TNT on to discover the last minute of Charmed showing. The wretched state had the programme on an hour early (two considering the time difference). Disappointed, I went up and disturbed the boys, made a cup of tea for all that wanted it and had a full breakfast in the lodge’s restaurant. Then we were off for our day of walking, climbing and screaming in terror in Zion National Park.

We started our climb up Angel’s Landing at quarter to twelve, cunningly making it so that we walk at the hottest part of the day. We were all loaded up with over a gallon (whatever that is…) of water each (and talking of odd units of measurement, it was about 96 degrees Fahrenheit). The walk started at a gentle rise with a path that constantly doubled back on itself to get up the side of the mountain. I found it incredibly hard going and was constantly lagging behind the guys probably annoying them a lot but what could I do. The path went higher and higher and I felt deader and deader until finally we came to an open place where there was room to lie down and great views to enjoy. Was this the top? Of course not. It was merely the start of the top. If that… Here I spent a few blissful minutes just watching the little chipmunks play and drinking a lot of water. Then I had to face the strenuous final climb to the top. And I do mean climb.

The way quickly became worn footholds in sandstone 50cm apart. At intervals a chain was pinned to the rock face letting me have some very welcome safety and aid. There was a sheer drop to one side of us at all times and for one hairy segment the sheer drop was both to the right and to the left. But I walked forward, only looking at where I trod, not down at where I could end up. It was physically rather tough not least because I could not reach many of the holds easily and did not trust my shoes to the slopes. Heights don’t really bother me except for the very real possibility of a stumble leading to death, but they bothered Steve who nonetheless gritted his teeth and kept going to the top. This stretch along sheer drops only lasted for half a mile but took a long time to complete. Each time we thought we had reached the top we had invariably further to go. But I continued at my own pace and felt the safety of the million-year-old rocks below my feet.

Was the view from the top worth the climb? Actually the climb was worth the climb as it proved that I could do it. I could walk 5 miles ranging over 1,400 feet, 1 mile of which being in death defying conditions. Well, vaguely unnerving conditions. The top was peaceful. I just lay exhausted on the hot rocks as everyone else skipped about the summit. The views were great but it was the closeness to the sky I appreciated. That and the distance from the ground. I slowly got into leaping about snapping the pics but primarily I just wanted to lie and slowly seep into the rock. Alas, not to be. We had to go down. This was easier for me except that my ankle was banging the edge of my shoe and causing me pain. I was more or less skipping down by the time we were past the sheer drop segment. I felt good.

Then we went on the shuttle to take us further up the canyon to the very end (Temple of Sinawava). This was a surfaced 2 mile walk. It was pretty level and again I was having problems keeping up. The area was very wet and green. Rather different from what we had just walked up.

If it weren’t for the hoards of tourists, I may have enjoyed it but it was quite an effort to dodge people and keep up with the others. On the route we past rock faces that bore the marks of old waterfalls and landslides. Looking up at one rock face, we could see water streaming out from an aquifer where it met impermeable rock. At the end of the path, a river blocked the way. There were warnings posted about flash floods advising people that they leave the path at their own risk. Many people were wading in the river, going a little further upstream. I wonder what they found there… Alas, I will never know as we turned back.

We took the shuttle back home, briefly stopping at the tourist centre. Being a Friday, I turned the television on as soon as I got back to my room and watched tv. We went out for dinner at a restaurant/diner that loved bumbleberries. The back of the menu explained what they were- a burple coloured fruit whose sweetness depends on the size of the heart of the picker. Groan. What a crazy place. We had a meal and bumbleberry pie and then moved onto the same pub as the night before. On ordering the cheapest item on the menu to validate the guys drinking, the barman said “Yeah, that’ll work”. So I lost pool quite badly to Steve and trudged back home to go back on the internet and watch more tv.

Checkout time the next day was 11am. I was banging on their door from 9:30 but couldn’t rouse them until 10:30 (and was asked “why didn’t you wake us sooner?!”). During that hour I sat on the balcony reading and enjoying the view. We all made it though with barely seconds to spare and started on our way to Moab. We took a scenic route that started in Zion National Park. To get out of the valley we had to go through a tunnel in the mountains. It was like the exit route the pilots took in Buck Rogers and certainly took us to a different land. On one side it was green and tranquil and on the other the rocks were all reds, yellows and oranges and the environment too rocky for most plants. In honour of this, we listened to some musical version of War of the Worlds.

The route took us through a variety of rocky landscapes. There were white “checkerboard” mountains (the horizontal lines of strata were crossed with striations from heating and cooling), frozen red seas of rocks with ripples and tall yellow pillars. Later in the day we turned a corner and entered fresh green pastures complete with horses running in paddocks. Suddenly we were in ranch territory and the few towns we cam across spoke of black and white hats and showdowns at noon.

After a day of hard driving (if you ignore the late start) we get rooms at a Holiday Inn Express in Moab. We went for a meal in a brewery (in Utah?!) and watched a stunning thunderstorm with forked lightning through the window. Once we returned to the hotel, the evening was spent swapping pictures. Four people with about 2Gb between them can take a lot of pictures and videos.

The morning started with a complementary breakfast (it may actually have been complimentary- I am not sure Americans realise the difference) so we were up relatively early. We drove to Dead Horse Point which is so-named as cowboys would drive horses to the precipice of the cliff and capture them as they get trapped. It is more famous for being the place for the famous over-the-cliff scene in Thelma and Louise which we considered re-enacting but lacked the wig for someone to play Susan Sarandon. The views were dramatic and spoke of millions of years of evolution. We walked in the blistering noon heat without water and shade for a couple of miles to get the views which resulting in me feeling rather dizzy but it was nothing a few minutes in the shade of the tourist office couldn’t cure. On our path we saw small puddles of water teeming with life but other than that it seemed a desert.

We left Utah and entered Colorado that afternoon. The hills and mountains covered with pines and chalets made it feel Alpine. Snowmass Village was up Snowmass Mount, coincidently. The route there was steep and our condo at the top of the village. In fact, the group of condos was called Top of the Village and the building housing ours was called Summit. Top + Summit = a long and hard climb up from the conference building each day. I was in a condo with Phil and Tony but spent a lot of my time with Glen, Glenn and Steve. On the middle weekend I did a 5 mile hike, climbing from 10 000 to 12 000 feet. One segment was incredibly steep indeed- a series of switchbacks helped with an almost vertical climb. At the top was Cathedral Lake in a small meadow of wild flowers. It was peaceful but far too cold to hang around. On the Sunday, I played Frisbee golf (quite poorly). The novelty value just added to the usual fun of chucking a Frisbee about.